Bumper Snickers

According to Simon and Garfunkel “the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls…”

Simon and Garfunkel, “The Sounds Of Silence.”

Probably. But if you want real wisdom, you have to look at the ass-ends of our cars and
trucks. Hence, Bumper Snickers. This is a new feature for Insomniac Dream, and as such
will probably be under construction on an ongoing basis. This page is intended for all the
humorous, witty, satirical bumper stickers I can find. Please feel free to submit any
others that you feel would be appropriate here.

  • Procrastinate Now
  • Rehab Is for Quitters
  • My Dog Can Lick Anyone
  • 21 and Legally Able to Do Everything I’ve Been Doing Since 15
  • West Virginia: One Million People … 15 Last Names
  • Failure Is Not an Option. It Comes Bundled with the Software
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes
  • A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
  • Stupidity Is Not a Handicap; Park Elsewhere!
  • Police Station Toilet Stolen. Cops Have Nothing to Go On.
  • Heck Is Where People Go Who Don’t Believe in Gosh
  • Next time use all your fingers to wave at me
  • A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words, But It Uses Up a Thousand Times the Memory.
  • Welcome to Arkansas. Set Your Watch Back 20 Years.
  • The Original Point-and-Click Interface was a Smith & Wesson.
  • My Wild Oats Have Turned to Shredded Wheat
  • Mop and Glow, the floor wax used by the Three-Mile-Island cleanup team.
  • NyQuil: The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
  • My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God. I didn’t.
  • Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up.
  • Due to the lack of trees and paper products, you must now wipe your ass with a spotted owl.
  • Pregnancy is a sexually transmitted disease.
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
  • Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
  • Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
  • I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
  • He’s not dead, He’s electroencephalographically challenged.
  • You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • Pardon my driving, I’m reloading.
  • Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
  • Caution! Driver only carries $20 in ammunition.
  • Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  • Diplomacy is saying “nice doggy” until you find a rock.
  • Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  • Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.
  • Jesus Saves! Passes back to Gretzky – he shoots… he scores!